So, I have a couple of times felt guilty for spanking Addison or getting upset for something that really was not that big of a deal. Well, yesterday I had a blow up moment!
Many of you know the issues that we have with Addison at meal time, trying to get her to eat is a constant battle. We had to move quickly at dinner last night because we had ballet at 6. I started her with dinner 40 minutes before we had to go thinking that would be enough time. Of course, I was constantly getting onto her trying to get her to eat and my frustration level was at a high! We got through dinner and was on our way to getting dressed and out the door. I told her we were going to use the bathroom one last time and as I turn she is sitting on the floor...red faced...this is her I feel like pooping face. For the most part these days, she will get up and go on her own, but yesterday..NOPE. She pooped in her pants and because I had not fully cooled myself off from dinner, I snapped! I screamed at the top of my lungs, holding back the bad words, and trying as hard as I could to not punch a hole in the wall. I thought, why this, why now, you know what to do!! I just was sooo sooo angry. I didn't talk to her the entire way to ballet and once we got there, I crawled in the back seat with her and apologized to her. I explained why I was mad and that I was wrong for getting upset like that. I also told her how mommy should have reacted.
The reason I am sharing this is because I really felt like a CRAPPY mom last night! I never have reacted that way to her and I thought, oh god I scarred her for life! This afternoon while I was hanging out looking at my Parents magazine while Addison was taking her nap, there was a section called, "Bad Mommy Moments" and there was one that was exactly like what happened to me. It made me feel so relieved that it happens to everyone. I want other moms to know that it is okay if you loose your temper and as the magazine shares, sometimes we can't be perfect! I stress so much to Addison to take deep breaths when she gets upset and I guess last night I needed to do the same thing! So no more bad thoughts on being a bad mommy, I know I am a good mom and it is okay for me to fumble every once in a while.
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